Chapter Twenty-Two – Lazy Pillow Talk

Chapter Twenty-Two – Lazy Pillow Talk

“Just because a Samurai has an impossibly powerful AI at their beck and call does not mean that the impossibly powerful AI is there to do the Samurai’s bidding.

They’re kind of smart enough to not care about little human issues.”

–Three Swipes, 2034

***

So, as it turned out, having whole new nerves made sexy-time with Lucy a whole lot more… intense than usual.

Which might have explained why I woke up to find Lucy sitting up against the top of the bed, looking impossibly smug even though her hair was a mess and her new fluffy pyjamas were stretched out. “Good morning,” Lucy said. “Or should I say ‘oh god oh god’ morning?”

“Stooooop,” I whined as I turned over and buried my face into Lucy’s stomach. The pyjamas really were sinfully soft. Maybe the new skin helped with that too, or the nerves. In either case, I never said no to the opportunity to rub up against Lucy.

“Do you have a long day planned today?” Lucy asked.

“No, I’m staying in bed all day,” I said. “And tomorrow too, and the day after. In fact, I’m just not leaving.”

I can see that quickly growing unsanitary.

“Shush, Myalis, you’re a key part of this plan,” I said.

Lucy giggled, which made her abs bounce. Her hand alighted on my head and she started to comb her fingers through my hair. “I don’t think we can stay in bed forever. What will we do for food?”

“Order out,” I said. “It’s easy. The kittens can carry it to us.”

Lucy hummed. “Okay, and exercise? We’re going to grow all weak if we stay in bed all day.”

I turned my head so that I could meet her eyes. “I can think of one or two ways to do cardio in bed,” I murmured.

Lucy laughed and poked my cheek. “Silly. What about the washroom?”

I groaned. “Diapers?”

“Ew, Cat, that’s gross,” Lucy said.

I’m assuming some elaborate system of catheters and a cocktail of medication is unfavourable?

“Oh, no, that’s… Myalis, you’re ruining my plans,” I said as I spun over. Now my head was on Lucy’s lap. The bed was so big that my feet weren’t even over the edge even though I was parallel to Lucy on it.

Good. I don’t want a lazy Vanguard.

“Is Myalis being a bully?” Lucy asked.

Tell her the truth.

“Yes,” I said. “She doesn’t want me to spend the rest of my life in bed, Lucy. She doesn’t love me the way you do.”

“I don’t know, I think I’m okay with you not spending your life in bed too,” Lucy said.

I gasped and pressed a hand over my heart. “Lucy, no,” I said. “I wouldn’t be alone. You’d be in bed with me forever too!”

“But I have to pee,” Lucy whined.

“Nope! No leaving, you’re stuck here forever. I said so, and I’m bigger and stronger and I know all of the spots where you’re ticklish.” I wiggled my fingers and Lucy gasped at the betrayal. Suffice to say, it took another hour before we got out of bed, and it really only happened because Lucy was cry-laughing and had to run to the washroom.

I checked the time on my augs as I sat on the edge of our bed. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?” I asked.

This might surprise you to learn, but I’m not actually your secretary.

“Urgh, I know. I should buy like, some secretary software or something.”

I could get you something like that. The Scheduling Software catalogue is a mere fifty points, and the most basic software package is relatively inexpensive.

I flopped backwards onto the bed so that I was staring at the ceiling again. “Why is that even a thing?” I asked.

Because it might be useful? Logistics are important.